Karen got me to go see Twilight with her. In an attempt to be romantic I took her out to Congaree National Forest and left her there. I must have done something wrong cause when she found her way back home she wasn't enraptured with lust. Romance is hard. Hard like math.

Fridge magnet invader


Within the past ten minutes Karen has:
  • Tried to sodomize me.
  • Attempted to convince me to start a career in gay pornography, which she would collect 30% of the income from as my "manager."
  • Explain to me that no matter what I do in life, I will nonetheless be miserable.
  • Said that if I loved her I would break into a bakery and load a pickup truck full of cake for her.
  • Slapped me and demanded I tell her that I loved her.
Best. Girlfriend. Ever.